“Boy!”

I hated that voice. I shrank further into the corner of my room, hoping he’d forget about me. I didn’t care what he wanted. It was nothing good. It was never anything good, not for me.

“Get out here, boy! Some girl’s here to see you, for some reason.”

My heart lurched. She was here? Shitshitshit, no. I jumped to my feet and raced to the door. Nononono, not here, maybe it’s not her, maybe it’s someone else. Those hopes were shattered when I screeched to a halt by the door.

“Hi, Tarvin,” she said. It was her, the most beautiful girl in school, standing on my doorstep, asking for me. Pellia – her very name caused my heart to flutter – was talking to me. Not my brothers. Me. And waiting for me to answer. My father shook his head and headed back to his room without further comment – for once.

“Uh, hi,” I managed to stutter. “What are you doing here?” Shit, that was rude. “I mean, what do you want? I mean-” I took a deep breath and put on an apologetic smile. “I mean, what can I do to you? FOR you. What can I do FOR you?” I was doing surprisingly well.

She didn’t laugh at me, for which I was immensely grateful. She smiled. I melted. “I was hoping,” she said, “that you could help me with our schoolwork. You seem like you know what’s going on in class.”

“Oh. Yeah, sure! What are you having trouble with?”

“Can I come in?” With a start I realized that we were still standing in the doorway.

“Ah…” The house was filthy, the end product of five males living in a house with no female presence. As the youngest, I was expected to fulfill the role of housekeeper, but with the low standards the rest of the family had – well, to say the cleaning was neglected would be an understatement.

“Ahhhhhh,” I concluded.

“Is that a yes?”

“Sure. Sure, come on in. Just try to ignore the mess. Please.”

Pellia stepped in and I closed the door behind her.

“Is there some place we can sit?”

“Yeah, I usually work at my desk. It’s, ah, in my room.” I fully expected her to slap me in the face at this point. She comes over to innocently ask for help with her schoolwork, and I invite her into my room? What was I thinking?

Instead, she simply said “Sounds good. Lead the way.” I probably blinked in confusion once or twice before instinct took over and kept me from screwing it up. Dodging a pile of trash, I gracefully stumbled my way to my room and held the door open for the vision of loveliness following me.

She smiled in thanks as she passed and for a moment I thought my legs were going to give out on me. Narrowly avoiding another disaster, I stayed upright as Pellia took a seat at my desk and pulled out a thick book. For a brief moment, I was jealous. It looked new.

“That must have cost you a lot of coin,” I said, nodding my head at the book.

She shrugged. “My parents said I needed it,” she said, flipping it open. “But yeah, I don’t doubt it was expensive. How much was yours?”

“Ah, free,” I said. “Just like all of my stuff, it’s been through three sets of hands before landing in mine. We can’t afford what Druids charge for books.”

“Here,” she said, pointing a finger at a page of the book. I recognized it as a page on optics. “This is what I’m having trouble with. I don’t understand how this stuff works. Why do glasses help people see better?”

For once, I knew what I was talking about. “Well, when you can’t see, there’s something wrong with your eyes. They don’t focus properly.” To demonstrate, I leaned up against the desk and pointed at her eyes. She fixed them on mine, and I suddenly found my mind blank. “Um,” I said.

“Yes?” She moved closer to me. My hand dropped.

“Um.”

“You said that part already,” Pellia said, moving closer again, keeping her eyes locked with mine. She was close enough now that I could feel her breath on my face. It smelled lightly of mint leaves. “Tarvin,” she whispered. My pulse raced.

“Yes?”

“We should go out somewhere.”

Some part of my brain must have started working again. “What about your schoolwork?” I said.

“Leave it here, and we’ll come back to it. Later.”

Hundreds of fantasies infiltrated my mind at once, blocking out any attempt at rational thought.

“Sure,” I managed to say.

Had I known what she had in mind, I probably would have hesitated. Briefly.

“Are you sure we’re allowed to be here?” I asked as I sipped on my second mug of ale. The taste certainly took some getting used to.

“I told you,” Pellia answered. “It’s not illegal. My dad would kill me if he found out, but it’s not like we’re going to get arrested. I thought you were the smart one around here.”

“I’m not really all that smart, you know,” I said. Alcohol had loosened my tongue. “I just don’t have anything else to do, so I study.”

“You could… hang out with friends?” Pellia sipped on her drink, some concoction of fruit juice and liquor.

“Ha. What friends? Any time I think I’ve made a friend, my brothers turn him against me. I’ve just… stopped trying, you know? I can’t handle it.” The mouthful of bitter liquid that followed the admission accurately represented my feelings on the matter.

“Why would they do that?” She sounded genuinely concerned. I didn’t hear that often. More likely, it was some combination of pity and pretending to care while not actually giving a damn.

“Because I-” I took another gulp of ale. “Our mother. She- she died giving birth to me. I killed her. My father, he blamed me, took to drinking.” I frowned at the ale in my hand before polishing off the glass. “And I think my brothers blamed me for that, too. I wasn’t the only one who got my share of beatings.”

“That’s awful.”